How to deal with negative thinking
A home retreating tip from Desri Goodwin of Chateau de Mouillac in France, who also offers private one to one virtual retreats you can take in the comfort of your own home.
We are all susceptible to negative thinking, especially in times of turmoil and stress and this strange time is that for many people. Negative thinking affects everything, our mood, our perspective, our relationships and our health.
It is safe to say that we hurt ourselves time and time again with our negative thinking, rerunning something bad that happened to us, self criticising, feeling resentment, jealousy or animosity about somebody – each time we replay an event we aren’t happy about, or get into a think-rant about something or someone, we feel worse than if we were thinking happy thoughts. When we criticise or judge others we create a bad head space for ourselves. Our mood goes down and we need it up!
So, when this happens to you take responsibility, recognise and acknowledge that you are having a negative moment and do something about it.
- Choose a way of reacting quickly – like hitting a buzzer. Hit your STOP button. For example you could have an elastic band around your wrist and twang it (but that hurts), wear a bracelet on your wrist and change wrists each time you start the negative thought process, jump up onto a chair and act like a chicken, be crazy! You could put your favourite sing-along tune on loudly and sing at the top of your voice. All these things will halt the process of the thought and the last two especially (or something similar, be creative) will change your state.
- Replace negativity with a happy or positive thought: Think of someone who makes you happy, a funny situation, somewhere you like to be or of a big dream or ambition you have.
- Be kind to yourself (and to others). Ask yourself what you would say to a loved one if they told you that they were thinking what you are thinking and how it makes you feel. We treat ourselves more harshly than we do others and it is damaging! By replaying a bad situation we hurt ourselves over and over again. Likewise when we allow ourselves to slip into a fearful, critical or judgemental loop. We stop ourselves sleeping, give ourselves tummy upsets, headaches, stress… we can use the same energy to do the opposite.
- To go deeper into dealing with the problem and your reaction to it, find an experienced therapist to help you diffuse it and put it to bed once and for all. Often by re framing a situation or addressing it in trance (you don’t even need to tell the therapist what happened if it is a sensitive issue) you can find a way to make peace with it or even see it in a very different light and that can make all the difference to the way you feel and react to current situations in your life.YOU are in control. So when negativity creeps in hit your stop button. Think a happy thought. Do something that makes you feel good (self massage, guided meditation, yoga nidra, deep bath with oils, get lost in a good book, dance around your kitchen, dream big…whatever works for you).
Chateau de Mouillac offers intensive one-to-one home retreats via video link. All you need is a private and quiet (ish) space and a computer with skype or zoom. Usually these home retreats are 5 consecutive or random days to suit you, but in the current situation the team are also offering to work with people for 2 – 5 days (approximately 4 hours 1-1 per day) and they also include an Omni energy session every two days. Find out more here.
Plan ahead to retreat at Chateau de Mouillac
Nestled among Cognac vines in Southwest France, this luxurious and grand, 200 year-old house offers private, bespoke retreats for up to 4 people that pivot on a raw vegan cleanse, a range of intensive (one-to-one) emotional therapies, nutritional consultations, a range of healthy therapies, and myriad ways to relax in the gorgeous chateau-esque interiors and grounds. Hosted by highly accomplished raw food chef Desri Goodwin and her partner Master NLP practitioner Robin, programmes are designed around the specific needs of each guest to provide holistic treatments and tools to create lasting life changes. For those who simply need to cleanse, de-stress or replenish their energy to those with deep seated emotional issues to lay to rest, this retreat provides the perfect balance of health and holiday.